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I buy it for the articles.

I debated buying the magazine. Could I handle the shame? The embarrassment? Would I see someone I know as I was buying it? I hesitantly put the magazine on the counter.

Cashier(looking at the magazine cover): “Whoa.”

Me: “Yea, I know. But I’m not buying it for the cover.”

Cashier: “Wow.”

Me: “I’m buying it for the Fall movie previews. Definitely not because of the cover.”

Cashier: “Robert Downey I could see on the cover, but not them.”

Me: “I’m going to just rip the cover off when I go home!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

I am not kidding you, I almost tossed The New Yorker in with my purchase to hide the EW. It was like buying 15 things you don’t need to hide the one condom box you were purchasing. I can’t wait for my subscription to start so I can avoid awkward conversations with bookstore employees over things like this:

 ewcover